A Chapter of my life. (2011)

(I did this on my senior year high school, we had to write a chapter of our lives haha so I'm really sorry for the harsh words used)

ROAD TO RECOVERY

Everything around me was confusing, hectic, messy, intricate, or should i just say, complicated. It's like I'm in war all the time. Not until I found a way to get rid of these. My name is Jameline H. I guess you could call me somewhat of a… fashion freak gal. Since i love fashion and all.

My life has been a mess. I couldn’t possibly accept the fact that parents are distant, that we’re not as wealthy as we used to, that I couldn’t possibly get every single thing i want. But all in all, I’m still happy though. living my life with my mom and dad separately. Seeing my mom moved on, my dad still the same. Me being a responsible child, learned to love my parents and learned what path to choose in life.

So after wasting 5 years in this school called “Philippine Buddhacare Academy” I decided to transfer since this school is a bit of a wreck, I pass every level without knowing anything and what’s on my mind is ” how can i enter a good university when i don’t even understand what i was studying ” so me, and with a help of friends named Chynna and Cristina, we seek every school we know, we tried to call, and do what we can do. So after seeking, I told my mom to let me transfer, but she doesn’t want it to be too complicated so she decided not to. I got really upset and told her that there’s no way I will go to this stupid school if you didn’t let me transfer, and so she did.

New school, New life. So I had this friend named Lance See, without him, I swear to God I'll be lost in this new school. He’s just like my tour guide. I didn't ask him to fetch me, or take me to the place I want to go but he just do it himself, I guess I’m lucky to met him though.

Being with my new classmates are hell awkward, like you don’t know what to do, what to say and what to look at. You just feel awkward. Nobody knows you and you don’t know anybody around you. I felt really weird. It’s the feeling that someone humiliated you in front of a crowd. When every teacher entered, they all asked the same questions “Do we have any new students here?” everyone is silent while I slowly raised my hand.  “What’s your name?” and I confidently answer all of their questions because I don’t want to look stupid and nervous in front of a class.

So I have this Filipino teacher named Gng. Gabiane, She ask me to join Teatro (Theater club), I couldn’t possibly deny so I said sure. I was basically on cheerleading that time and joined scouting. Upon knowing that I have a very hectic schedule, so i decided to quit scouting and remain cheerleading together with Teatro. I was thinking that if i continue both of this, my grades might fail, my purpose here is to improve my grades, not to improve my activity skills. So then I decided to quit cheerleading and Remain Teatro since i couldn’t just disappoint my teacher.

Since I know I’m good at computers and stuff, I was assigned to be the video editor for Teatro. We had a performance in SMX regarding Henry Sy's life and I was the one who edited the music and video. I am also assigned to perform on stage as a model.

So I met this guy named Patrick Danielle Ong, not long after I was introduced to tons of guys. I denied all of them because like i said, my purpose is to improve grades not anything else. And I’m sick of boys that time anyway, I’m sick of being cheated all the time, I’m sick of loving someone who doesn’t even love you back and if they do, it won’t last. I’m just sick of relationships that you know won’t last. So, I continued my career, my studies, my goals in short term life. Not long after this SMX thing, this guy named Patrick couldn’t resist how awesome this girl named Jameline was. After 5 months of wasting his time without me, He still couldn’t accept the fact that He was denied by the most beautiful person on earth to him. so he came back after that 5 months and i decided to be his friend, its not bad to have another friend though. Not long enough we became close friends and I have this feeling that we might pass through this stage being more than just friends, so i decided to be distant since I'm sick of boys. But what else can i do, he’s not mean to me, instead, he’s really sweet. He accepts everything i say, and i can see it in his face, that he was so happy every time i speak to him. I couldn’t even stop it. i love making people happy, it makes me happy as well, it feels good. so we continued this after a couple of months, and I am so happy because I couldn’t believe I can balance it with my studies, it’s like he’s my inspiration. I get high grades in class. and it feels really good. It’s exactly what I want, maintaining my grades with something inspiring.

To be honest, I wasn’t really serious much in this relationship since I was hell scared of being in love again so I treat him as a very close friend but obviously no benefits since he’s just someone I know for months, how can I trust him, and how can he trust me?

After a couple of months, I felt the care I never felt before. I never felt like it for a very long time, I never felt it with my parents even if I wanted to so bad. I just don’t. I can feel that he cares about me so much that he forgets himself already and upon knowing this guy is honest with himself and to me as well, I learned to love him back. I showed him the care he needs, the love that he had never felt before since I was basically his first. And it’s been a couple of months now, obviously don’t know if it would last so how can I make sure, I don’t know.

How did this happen anyway? Of course, with the help of his friends. He couldn’t possibly have this wonderful girl of his life without the help of his friends since I myself know that he wasn’t strong enough to fight for his weaknesses.

Moral lesson of the story, Do what you want to do, Do what you think is right, do not easily give up and you won’t be successful enough without the help of others. Do not be scared of doing trials in your life. And do not give your trust to anyone you don’t know. Don’t dare to give up. Learn to trust and love yourself and your family first before sharing your love to someone else because if you don’t you’ll regret it. Regret ALWAYS comes at the end.